Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm having to shit out rocks
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
