Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It's never too late to be topless.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
