I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
