Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
