I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize