Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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