**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
