He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
