i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He? As in you personified your dick?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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