doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
