hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize