It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Your cock deserves a montage
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
