Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
