ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
