I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
