Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i came on her dog
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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