She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
