who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
