Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
