If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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