I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
