i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
