He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
