Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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