# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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