I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You can't motorboat a personality
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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