He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
