I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
