Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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