just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
