she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
