Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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