there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
