Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
