i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
