Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
