Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
