i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
