she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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