I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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