and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize