the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Sorry my hands just texted you
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
