She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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