I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
