You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize