I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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