Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
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