He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
