Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
