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oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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