i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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