We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
