I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
