just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
