I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
