It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
