And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
