fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
operation harelip BJ is a go
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
