Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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