she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
bring money and cleavage
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize