thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
