Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
