i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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