i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize