I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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