the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize