I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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