Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize