She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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