There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
