You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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