More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
