the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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